is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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