Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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