Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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