She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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