So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize