No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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