He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
