So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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