I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
