I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
