Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
