I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You dont lie about slip and slides
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
