turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
