no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
