if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
