left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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