I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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