I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
