Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
