He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
