Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
