You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
