i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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