She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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