Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
