Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
