i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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