There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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