my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Everything about him screamed your future.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
