I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
