so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
