I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
