Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
