i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
