yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
