She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
