U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
