You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
