Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
