Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just had sex bonerless
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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