so that wasnt chicken after all
i was born a porn star she said
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize