I forgot how hot balto sounded
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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