marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
