Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
