so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
