Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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