we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
