dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
