You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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