Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
