Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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